Just Beneath the Skin
by Silver345
Summary: Everyone has their own inner demons. Even the 'perfect' people of the world have something boiling just beneath the surface... Lucaya Oneshot


When she received a text at a quarter to ten, she expected it to be a goodnight text from Riley. She didn't expect a text from a contact labeled Huckleberry, but life was full of unexpected surprises.

 _Are you at home?_ it read. She tapped back a quick 'Yup' and a few seconds later to her surprise, she heard a tapping on her window. She raised an eyebrow at him through the glass as she pushed the window upward as high as it would go.

"Can… can I talk to you?" She was confused at his uncertain tone and it showed on her face, but she could tell something was wrong so she backed away from the window.

"Sure, do you want to come in?" He gave a quick nod before wiggling his way through the window which he noted didn't open nearly as widely as Riley's bay window did. After a few moments, he stood in the middle of her room with her. She sat on the bed and patted the spot next to her in an invitation to sit. However, he sat as far from her as he could on the foot of the bed instead.

He didn't talk for a while, simply sat quietly, fidgeting with his hands and every so often looking like he was about to speak, but then changing his mind and going back to staring at the rug. Maya picked up her sketchpad from the table next to her and began doodling, hoping to help him feel less pressured. They remained like this until Maya had a whole page drawn up of cartoon cowboys, saloons, cows and ponies and he still hadn't uttered a word since he struggled through the too-small window frame.

"Maya…" She looked up, her eyes widening at the expression on his face. It looked like a mix between absolute fury and despair and she'd never seen anything quite like it on his countenance.

"Yes?"

"Can I just… I don't know, vent to you? I have a lot going through my mind and Zay can't help, Farkle would just try to analyze me or something and I can't even imagine what would happen if I went to Riley—"

"Calm down, Ranger Rick, of course you can. I know I don't act like it often, but I'm always here for you, you know?" He sighed heavily in what she hoped was relief.

"Thanks. I just… gah. I don't even know how to start." She set her sketchbook aside and sat criss cross, leaning her elbows on her knees.

"Just start with your train of thought and go from there." He nodded and stood up from the bed.

"I just... wow this is really hard... I feel like… I feel like I'm some kind of, I don't know, monster or something. Like… theres something inside me that's trying to break free. I know I've changed, but part of me wonders if I really have." He began pacing the room.

"I just get this feeling like I'm trying to be this Mr. Perfect, and I wonder if its just someone I've become, or if I've just pretended for so long that I've fooled myself. I don't know, maybe I'm crazy…" Lucas glanced over at the bed to see Maya deep in thought. She didn't appear to be freaked out yet so he kept going.

"I just get so angry sometimes and its hard not to let it out. I feel like everyone expects me to be this perfect guy, but I know I'm not and I hate lying to people. And then I get annoyed because why should they get to tell me who I am? Why do they think they know me so well, huh? They think they _know_ that there's nothing more to me than a perfect little mama's boy? They know _nothing_ about me." By this point his fists were clenched and Maya could see his knuckles whiten at the amount of force he was putting on the joints.

"And I don't want to be perfect. I don't want to just be doing what everyone expects me to do. I hate that the worst actually. I do exactly what I'm expected to do. _Every time._ Riley fell into my lap on the subway and she likes me, so that's who I'm supposed to like? Everyone assumed I was just the southern gentleman so that's all I ever get to be? You tell me you like me while we're in Texas so that just means I'm going on a date with you just because Riley says? No offense by the way, I mean it was actually sort of fun when—"

"Relax, Huckleberry, this isn't about me. Just keep saying what you gotta say, okay?" The blonde gave him a reassuring smile so the former Texan took a deep breath to try and calm himself.

"Okay… okay, you're right. Okay..." Taking one more deep breath through his nose, he managed to uncurl his fists and seat himself back down on the bed.

"I just… I just don't want to keep doing what I'm 'supposed' to do. But every time I try to change, everyone makes too big a deal out of things and I feel like I just have to go back to the way things were. I mean, Farkle got to go through some crazy metamorphosis thing and Riley seems to have a new personality she wants to try out every month. Even you've got your whole renewed hope thing. But I'm just… the freak face cowboy who's okay with anything that ever happens. Who _does_ that?" He sighed and shut his eyes tightly. When they opened his green eyes had a new kind of fire in them. Anger without the hint of sadness they had carried before.

"Sometimes I want to do something unexpected. Something that will throw everyone off. I mean, I'm never allowed to work through my problems, thats just you guys for some reason. I just want to do something that no one sees coming and no one will know what hit them…" He trailed off, realizing that his voice had dropped to a dangerous low. He wasn't quite sure what Maya would think he was implying, but as he thought about what he had just said, the implications were endless.

"I'm just… afraid really. Because I've got all this messed up stuff inside and I want people to know, but I don't want people to be scared of me. So I don't let people get too close to me, don't let them know that I have issues too, because if I do, they'll be scared. And then they'll leave, they always do. And then I get angry that people leave and that I can't let people in and we're back to step one. A vicious cycle," he said, the defeat evident in his voice. He glanced up at the girl to his right and chuckled mirthlessly. Her eyebrows were raised and her eyes were wide, but other than that, her face was unreadable.

"Great. Now you're afraid of me too." He didn't look up, but he felt her shift from the bed. In moments, a hand lay tentatively on his right shoulder and he looked up into her face as she shook her head at him.

"No, god no, how could you think I would turn my back on you for this? I mean, if anything this makes me relate to you more, you're like, a real person now, you know?" She laughed faintly and he snorted in mild amusement before dropping his eyes to the ground again.

"Really, Lucas. I'm not scared. I'm a little upset I guess because I just found out that you've been going through all this alone. I know how this goes, believe me I do. You just want to scream or hit something because its just so frustrating and you don't know what to do, right?" He nodded to himself, still not meeting her eyes. Her small hand rested on his cheek and tilted his head back up to meet her eyes. He would have been lying if he said he hadn't leaned into her touch.

"Listen, if you need to talk, you come to me. I understand you, more than you know. And if I'm having issues, I'll call you, okay? We can be each other's security blankets or something." She laughed lightly and as he searched her bright blue eyes he thought he saw tears and wondered if it was him that put them there or her own inner demons. Their eye contact was charged, but the blonde girl broke it by leaning forward and wrapping her arms around his neck. He responded almost immediately, wrapping his arms around her torso and burying his face in the blonde locks that cascaded over her shoulder. He breathed deeply, trying to lock this moment into his memory, though he knew he wouldn't forget even if he hadn't made an extra effort to remember.

What felt like minutes later, she released him. He hadn't know that there was a tear or two running down his cheeks until she brushed them off roughly before jamming the heels of her hands into her own eyes and sniffling.

"Stupid Huckleberry, now you've got me all worked up." He laughed, weakly, but a real laugh unlike many that he'd had the past few days. They remained in silence for a moment, trying to process what had just happened between them. They're friendship would never be the same, that was certain. Lucas couldn't deny that just being there made his heart beat quicken even if it was just the tiniest bit and Maya couldn't deny that when Lucas had hugged her back she'd felt just the tiniest flutter in her stomach (his heart was threatening to burst through his ribcage and her stomach was doing flips and spins like nothing ever had before). After a little fidgeting, the tall boy stood up and slowly made his way towards the window.

"So… I guess I should go then—"

"Wait!" He turned around to look at her and she looked embarrassed that she had spoken so loudly, her face immediately turning a pinkish color. She looked down at her socks which were shuffling nervously on the carpet.

"I… I mean… Its kind of late, do you have to go?" A look that she could have sworn was relief crossed his face.

"I just… I don't think I want to be alone right now," She said, pausing to glance at his face.

"Well, I was at Zay's before this and he actually told me to come here… He'd probably cover for me right?" She looked up at him and gave the tiniest smile. She climbed into her bed and scoot over all the way to the other side patting the bed beside her. This time, he didn't hesitate to climb in next to her after setting his shoes neatly beside the bed.

They didn't touch, but they were turned so that they could look at each other as they settled down to rest. Maya shut her eyes after a while, feeling awkward. An hour or so later, she opened them again to see that his eyes were still trained on her, though he looked away as soon as her lids opened. She grinned.

"Can't sleep?"

"Not really."

"Why not?"

"My bed has this really big comforter thats really warm, I guess New York is just too cold for me." She overemphasized a sigh of annoyance and shuffled closer to him.

"I swear, Sundance, you're doing this on purpose. You're just dying to cuddle with me, aren't you?" When her arm pressed against his she could feel her stomach fluttering again. In the dark, Lucas' face blushed bright red as he cautiously wrapped his other arm around the girl beside him.

"Is this okay?"

"You're fine, Hop-along. You warm enough now?" His face was actually burning.

"Yeah." They lay in silence and Lucas realized that he really enjoyed the feel of her in his arms while Maya discovered that she really liked the feel of his arms around her.

"Goodnight, Lucas," she said after a while.

"Goodnight, Maya."

When she woke up, Maya was both delighted and embarrassed to find Lucas' arms encircling her completely and the boy staring down at her when she first opened her eyes.

* * *

When you realize you've pinned your own rant on a fictional character...


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